scarlet fever? what?

last night i went downtown to tutor a little 2nd grader named kenneth (yes, i do leave my house on occasion). when we were walking into the classroom of this school, i noticed a sign right outside the door saying that a student in this room had been exposed to Scarlet Fever.  seriously?!  i pretty much stopped dead in my tracks, looked into the classroom, and thought about running.  does scarlet fever still exist?  didn't oxen die from scarlet fever in the oregon trail game?  i thought there was a vaccine for that.  

phone interview

today has been a great day so far.  i had a bowl of special K fruit & yogurt cereal.  it is quickly climbing the charts as one of my favorite cereals, but golden grahams is still hanging on for first place.  i called a pest control service to set up a time to come kill the bees nest that is right outside my front door.  two weeks ago i was in my driveway and a bee stung me in the neck.  my whole body broke out in hives.  it was really fun.  the best part was when the nurse jabbed an epi-pen into my leg like with so much force it was as if she were violently stabbing her cheating & lying husband.  the adrenaline made my whole body shake uncontrollably.  now i have a spare epi-pen on my kitchen counter.

i have a phone interview at 12:30, which is kinda annoying.  the lady wanted to do it at 9:15, but i said nay nay. that is way too early.  c'mon lady! she asked if i had a conflict with that time, and i said yes (sleeping). you can have a lot of fun with phone interviews.  my favorite thing about them is how the person at the other end has no idea what you are doing.  you could be completely naked jumping up and down on your bed during the phone interview and still get the job. maybe i'll do that today.  i could even stab myself with the epi-pen before the interview and then analyze how quickly my body responds to the adrenaline & how it affects my performance on the phone.  

also, my dog has not had any near death scares today but her new thing is biting the fur out of her back.  she has a bald spot on her back now and it's disgusting.  i can't even look at her.  

"heat" vs "made of honor"

one of the great things about retirement is watching 4-12 movies a week.  this past week i watched some good flicks, including the epic 'heat' from 1995 and the 2008 powerhouse 'made of honor,' which probably went straight from production to DVD (i pretend that it sucked but i secretly loved it).  i watched these on consecutive nights and while watching 'made of honor' i couldn't help but start comparing it to 'heat,' which is a crime drama with al pacino and robert de niro.  after it ended, everyone was asleep (my roommates, i mean parents, go to bed at 9 and 11) and i had nothing to do. so i wrote an essay about heat and made of honor that night (before the birth of this blog).  it's really good. here it is:

Michael Mann's "Heat" starring Al Pacino, Robert De Niro, and Val Kilmer, and Paul Weiland's "Made of Honor" starring Patrick Dempsey and some really cute brunette who I have never seen before are two of the greatest films of our generation.  Not only would ESPN call them "Instant Classics," they have incredible similarities.  In fact, they are basically the same movie, just written over a decade apart.  

 

In "Heat," Pacino chases De Niro because he is involved in illegal behavior.  Patrick Dempsey's character is essentially a younger Al Pacino, and the girl who he chases is De Niro.  Just as Pacino thinks he is going to lose De Niro in the chase, Dempsey chases the cute girl when he thinks he is going to lose her.  Dempsey/Pacino = chasers. De Niro/cute girl = chasees.   

A symbol of both films, metaphorically speaking, is heat.  First of all, the word heat is mentioned quite a bit in the movie "Heat."  The pressure that Pacino and his LAPD force puts on De Niro and his men is described as putting "on the heat."  The heat ultimately leads to the downfall of De Niro's character, whose name is Neil something.  Similarly, Patrick Dempsey's character in "Made of Honor," Tom, really puts on the heat on Hannah, played by the previously mentioned really cute brunette, when he follows her to Scotland and rides a horse into the front of the church while she is about to get married to the Scottish prick Colin.  Tom really does it.  He puts the heat on hard and in a really good way.  Tom tells Hannah that he loves her and wants to be with her.  Had Tom not put the heat on, she would have married Colin and lived in Scotland forever.  Thus, one could say that the heat Tom put on led to the downfall of Colin the Scottish dude.  Also, it should be noted that the name Hannah is a palindrome. 

Weiland, the director of "Made of Honor," must be the little brother, step-brother, or half-cousin of Michael Mann, the guy who made "Heat." Weiland carefully covers the very heavy themes of "Heat" in his creative and beautiful modern-day adaptation.  If you were going to take a girl to a movie on a date, you could pick either one and not worry about whether or not she will like the movie because they are pretty much the same and have no differences whatsoever. 

i think my dog is dead at least 6 times a day

jazzy is scaring me.  several times a day.  her favorite hobby is sprawling out on the floor and making me think she is dead.  it just happened again a few minutes ago (see picture).  jazzy puts new definition to the word deaf - she literally can't hear a thing - and can't hear me coming down the stairs or even walking around the kitchen.  she sometimes looks up when i walk in the room - probably because she must feel the floor shaking or something.  but when i'm walking around the kitchen, making noise, etc. and she doesnt move, i think she is dead. dead as a dog.  she does have a tumor so we don't know how long she actually has to live, so every time i see her like that i think the worst.  i do NOT want to be the one who finds their dead dog on the floor, so everytime i see her and she doesn't move i'm thinking crap why did you have to die right now jazzy i wanted to take a nap! so inconsiderate of her. then i check her breathing, and i can then go nap or watch a chick flick or something.  

i just heard a noise coming from the bathroom.  jazzy was drinking water out of the toilet.  ah yes, she is alive.  

oh hello retirement

i never thought i would make a blog, but after 40-something days of not wanting to find another job the mind becomes a little loopy (i spent a solid 4 minutes today letting my deaf and nearly blind 15 year old golden retriever Jazzy chase me around the kitchen island - the best part was when i would sneak up from behind and scare the heck out of her).  it seems like a good idea as of 9:42pm on 9/25/08.  we'll see how long it lasts.  i will chronicle the thrilling and exhilarating tales of my days of retirement (aka 'temporary unemployment').  $10 that i will either become bored of this in 6 days or i will forget all about it, and then a future potential employer will google my name, find this silly blog, and refuse to hire me.